The slopes are optional.

Written By Rupert Ashdown

Rupert Ashdown in his favourite tailored pink socks from Huntsman, Saville Row

Rupert recounts his recent “ski trip” to Gstaad

I arrived in Gstaad with every intention of embracing the Alpine lifestyle: sunrise pistes, fresh powder, fondue eaten with a false sense of athletic righteousness. Naturally, none of that happened. The moment I set foot in the Palace, I remembered that skiing is, fundamentally, optional especially when the bar serves champagne by the magnum and the lobby has more fur coats than a Siberian wolf sanctuary.

My ski pass remained untouched, a tragic little card tucked in my wallet like an unused gym membership. Instead, I dedicated myself to what I consider the true sport of Gstaad: reclining. Reclining by the fire, reclining in the spa, reclining on a sheepskin-draped terrace while pretending to read a philosophical book I bought purely for aesthetic reasons. I was, in every possible sense, an athlete of leisure.

Evenings were spent drifting from one chalet soirée to another, nodding earnestly as people discussed the snowfall I had heroically avoided all day. I agreed with everyone. Yes, the conditions were excellent. No, I did not see them personally. But spiritually? Spiritually I was on the mountain.

In the end, my trip was a triumph. I returned home with a delightful tan (from the sauna), a mild hangover (from the champagne), and the smug knowledge that while others risked frostbite, I risked absolutely nothing except a sizeable hotel bill. And honestly isn’t that what Gstaad is all about?

Rupert Ashdown

Educated at Eton and briefly at Oxford until an incident involving the rowing team. Rupert inherited his title at twenty-three and his reputation for trouble shortly after. Known to the European press as “The Duke Who Never Sleeps,” he divided his time between Mayfair, Marrakech. His life has been punctuated by rumoured affairs with actresses, heiresses, and at least one ambassador’s husband. As The Laundry Room’s travel correspondent, he records the world with rare elegance.

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